Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
