I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
