he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
