it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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