I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
