Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
