Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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