Cold hands, warm shart.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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