party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
