dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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