Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
