He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
