This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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