She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
