We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
