Welp...herpes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
