The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
