Dual....:-)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
