I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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