Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
PANTIES FOUND
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
