i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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