If i come over, it means nothing
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
