Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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