i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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