I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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