I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
