That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
