Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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