I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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