me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Drunk is a universal language darling
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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