When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
