you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
