First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
