C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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