I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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