if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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