Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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