I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
