weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
