It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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