it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
