Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
