Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
