i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
