There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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