i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
