she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
