I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
