yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
