this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
