i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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