Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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