Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
