I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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