And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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